Dear Abby: Friends wonder if they should keep mum about a dirty secret within their circle

DEAR ABBY: Our friend “Carrie” revealed to our close friend group that for the last few years she has been having an affair with her best friend “Julia’s” husband. Their kids are best friends, and they spend a lot of time together, even taking family vacations.
We have told Carrie many times how this can affect the kids, which she acknowledges, but the affair continues. This dirty secret is becoming increasingly difficult to keep because we love Julia, but nobody wants to be the messenger. Should we tell Julia, or wait until it inevitably comes out? — ROTTEN IN RHODE ISLAND
DEAR ROTTEN: Are you sure Julia knows nothing about the affair and hasn’t chosen to ignore it? Julia has children who still live at home. If you spill the beans, what will it do to the intact lifestyle they presumably enjoy? If you prefer not to hear any more about Carrie’s hijinks, tell her you don’t want to know any more. But I vote for keeping your mouth shut when it comes to making the revelations.
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.